Thursday, December 6, 2018

It's Sad When


Humanity isn’t able to apologize.
No longer knows how to understand;

Accept our differences.
Except for our differences.

What we don’t know is;
How to love despite being flawed,
how to be flawed, how to be flawless.

When to care, when to care less,
and when to be careless.

How to think
without being told what to think.

We believe everything printed in digital ink.

We don’t think. . .
We don’t adopt, but breed
children in need.

We don’t give,
but instead give
in, to greed.

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Thought Storage

I'm in a familiar place
without familiar faces.

I'm a stand-alone being.

A shelf for your thoughts
and ideas to rest on.
What you forget,
I remember.

Everything under the sun.
I'm an attic filled to the brim.
Overflow and forget what's in me,
until one day someone cleans me out.

Emptiness becomes fulfillment, a quiet,
peaceful blank slate of silence and loneliness.

Grab the chalk, make it messy,
and clean it all over again.

How quaint, to be so simple-minded.
To have the option to keep,
but to give in spite of the junk
the world loves to fill you up with.

Friday, November 16, 2018

I Never Want to Go Back

My worth is greater than my past,
my faults, my regrets, and my shortcomings.

I will take a somber look at my memories,
see the beauty in mistakes
and bad decisions made.

The magic of moving on,
is finding peace in the fact
that some lessons are self-taught.
Lessons that couldn't exist
without mistakes to lead the way.

If confidence is in short supply-
it's easier to see your growth

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Outrage IS an Issue

You lose your rationale,
stop making sense.

Who cares what's common?

Your head bloats like a balloon,
floats toward outer space,
and pops.

Wow, you were SO full
of SO much hot air.

At least that's the only thing
you've proven to me,
and isn't it kind of amazing?

How your point of view
is the only one in existence
when you're angry.

Isn't it interesting?
Incredibly convenient?
How your perspective skews reality?

The way it can contort
someone's true intentions?

Turn them into a villainous creature,
even if they have the greatest heart,
with the greatest of intentions.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

That's Character

If you find yourself depressed,
give until you've got nothing left.

You'll find you've got no
depression left to trouble you.

Give until you've got nothing left
and you'll have nothing left to lose.

The tight hold you keep on yourself. 
The suffocating battle,
you'll lose yourself in every time.

You find yourself swept up,
let life fall into piles in your house.
Get carried away,
of course that's easy to do.

Hoarding emotions and baggage
as if they were money in the bank.

Unlike cash, 
wisdom stores itself inside
for a sad rainy day instead.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

I Died And

Everyone I use to know
greeted me with a smile.

As if I was walking through a hall of the elderly,
and the good who died too young.

To my right, my grandmother and her twin
grab my hand and welcome me
as if they were church greeters.

I hear the echoes of an old friend
who tapped me on my shoulder.

At seventeen,
she passed away in a car accident,
and it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
It’s as if nothing ever happened,
time kept moving on.

She made me wonder if time
as we knew it on earth,
was a feather and a rock in a vacuum.
They both fall at the same rate,
it’s a matter of which gets dropped first.

I took a step back,
bumped into my grandfather,
and an uncle I was unable to meet in life.
They seemed to know me better
than I knew myself.

My uncle addressed all the time spent reading
this book he owned, called Happiness.

He loved how I paid special attention
to the highlights and notes in the margins,
trying to get to know who he use to be.

A great aunt and uncle of mine stole me away
from my conversation.

 My great uncle said,
"Thanks for the eulogy,
 I know you didn't mean to write it,
but I'm happy it kick started your career."

 I laughed as my great aunt
expressed how it comforted her,
even if it was full of typos.

My attention turned to man standing alone,
I walk toward him, shake his hand.

Sad eyes look toward me.

Saying how sorry he was for
leaping in the bucket prior to my birth.
Talking time, and how he wished he lived longer.

I let him know he has all the time he needs.

He reminded me of a line I wrote years ago,
only in my dreams,
can a cemetery be a getaway.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

The Story Isn't the Same For Everyone

I’m the one in the back of the book, a sudden recollection of a stranger.
Creeping into your subconscious, a memory, faint, fading away.

How could I forget you? The gun to my head, I heard myself say,
"What kind of luck is this? Guess I get to live to see another day."

As indifferent as I’ve been over the years, I think
I’ve forgiven you for that mess you made of my mind.

Yes, high school’s a horror story, but I’d rather see myself
forgotten than remembered as your antagonist.

We were friends, or so we thought ourselves to be.

Because we both know you lied that time you said
you’d make sure your friends were safe. You were careless
with us, didn't think of the damage your actions would cause.

All you wanted, was for everyone to see your rage,
and I’m guilty of listening without an ear of seriousness.

Luck is a convenience that helped me keep my life that evening.
Your so called solution, was ending the world,
the saddest part is, all you did was end yourself.

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

This is a Poem About

Days like this
end in sleepless nights.

I sit in peaceful silence-
thinking,
"Hey, why do I exist again?"

Virtually good for nothing in this moment.
Stare at the ceiling, tap my foot-
feel trapped in my skin again.

Look to my side,
talk to myself,
take a deep breath again,
again and again. . .

God, how many of these will I have to take?
"Quite a few."
His sarcastic wise-crack's in the back
of my mind's imagination.

I laugh, but do wonder,
how many nights have you left in my eyes?
What will I need to see in my lifetime?
What's going to make me distant again?

Remove me from this place I want to be,
put me in for the greater good.
I'm a single step away
at any given moment.

The average person hearing this,
would think me, suicidal.
It's incorrect.
Yea, I'm done,
but I can't be the person
who decides to quit on everyone.

All I do is coast around this place,
in a constant state of confusion.
Asking myself why or how I got here.

Telling myself this can't be my fortune
and often giving so much of it away.
It doesn't belong to me,
I'm only renting this body-space,
I don't need, I want. . .

This can't be my life,
this can't be my home
as the moment hits me,
right in the face.

Yesterday hits me,
reminds me of my place.
In a time that no longer
has a trace, no stake in who I am,
anymore.

I have a question for you, Yesterday,
I'm just not sure what that question is yet.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Set the Pace

Convenience is a commodity of
genuine friendship.

Without your typical definition.

A commodity of convenience,
is the time,
patience,
and effort
put into being
convenient.

If you want someone
to pillow your fall,
you've got to be willing
to be the pillow first.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Bit of Advice

No heroes this time,
no winners in this war.

No one's listening.

Step away,
you know you should,
but shoot your mouth instead.

No one hears you.

It's as if you're saying
all the wrong words
to all the wrong people,
at the worst possible time.

Saw my sights behind me,
but speaking your mind
with the filter off isn't the best idea.

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Happiness in the Corner

I've come to the conclusion that
I don't have a captivating soul.

I can't seem to be capable
of grabbing your attention.

I'm authentic,
and it's a problem. . .

The fact that I fall off the bandwagon,
and its consistent pressure,
to be the type of person
-I'm not.

I'd rather have my eyes clawed blind,
than show the world a blind version of myself.

Spent endless time spent,
saying to myself,
"I'm too offbeat for this."

So I sit in what you think
is my sad corner of life,

but what can't you see?

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Succeeding and Self Reliant

A year from today,
I’d like to be a better person.

Something I can't stop trying to be.

Clear the path,
pave the road for me to have;

patience,
appreciation,
compassion,
conviction.

The ability to shut myself out-
to be profoundly alone
in this mind of mine.


To shut out the voice of
what others are thinking.

Confidence, correct?

The ability to rely on myself.

Your Peace of Mind

Miss connection? Disconnect-
it's a matter of the mind.

Distract yourself from reality.
Run for your life.
Fight the frustration.

Sigh and
pick your battles.

You can't win this one.

Sigh again,
pick your battles.

Keep your distance.

Don't acknowledge the real issue,
fly with frustration
like the rest of the flock.

Ever seen a flock drop dead
for what seems like no reason?

Don't follow,
find.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

The End

Sick of seeing
the political high horse,
as if it even exists.

Please realize, the
alt left and alt right
concept is abstract.

Conjure another way to
cause division among us.
Another excuse to argue.

Grant the ideas on both
that are worth exploring.
Even if you're ripe to say
one side is giving handouts.
Or the other is promoting prejudice.

Get a load of this new concept-
bad things AREN'T LABELED
left or right.

Nixon was a crook,
Clinton was an adulterer.
Johnson was an alleged racist,
Bush 2.0 put food on his family.

I could go on for hours
finding the fault in our current,
and former president/s.

The perfect president doesn't exist.
He's a man with the important,
but lousy job of seven roles
trying to please everyone.

Sunday, June 17, 2018

The Cycle

Give up.
Don't give up.
Refuse to.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Move on with life.

To Throw it Away

I had my chance, I decided
to be a strong wind.

Blew you away.

Kissed you goodbye like
a fist to the face,
never looked back.

I thought about how. . .

I don't know
if I broke your confidence
or helped you lose
your self-esteem.

 I just know that our time was up.
   just know that our time was up.

We're not getting it back.
You are
            not getting it back.

 I'm not looking over my shoulder
ever again. Are you?

My back is turned-
I've got it all. .  .

The confidence-
the self-esteem.

I stole for myself ,
I don't think
you'll miss it.

 I don't think-
do you understand?

 Broken sentences,
             backs-

they cost you,
your own limbs to fix.

But us?
It doesn't cost us a thing.

Monday, May 28, 2018

There's an Angle to Everything

S5Z~N
3MWE. . .

If someone seems to have
a different perspective of the truth-

doesn't mean it isn't true.

Unless the intention was to lie to you.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Try Something New

Ever wondered what shattered my faith to pieces?

I've wondered what cracked yours across the floor.

Who said you're entitled to happiness?

Ever heard it was something you earned?

I won't sugar coat society for you.

I won't make it seem miserable.
Or give it a hand worse
than reality has dealt.

I’ll grant you the list of lies
you’ve told yourself were true.

That’s what you wanted,
right?
To believe,
that even you are born to lose?

So stand high on your horse,
feet on the ground,
I'll watch you fall

over and over again.

Find yourself unhappy?

Friday, May 25, 2018

It All Goes South From Here

Organization,
is there such a thing?

I am complete chaos –
 from inside my mind –
to inside my house –
 to trying to keep
 myself hinged
 in public places.

I remember once-
 hearing someone say,
“I hope I don’t die in my house,
it’s a mess.”

 Well,
 I feel your pain.

 I’d have the coroner believing
I was a complete slob…

 Luckily –
I don’t plan on
 dying anytime soon.

Not that you can really
PLAN that sort of thing.

Sure you can prepare –
by your plot,
plan your will-
 just know that your family
will probably screw up
your plans in the
inevitable event of
your ending…

In other words –
don’t expect your remains
to be shot into space
if no one you know can afford it.

Eh.

Cling to Your Chains

The technology to save the world started with one word- written, spoken and expressed. . . Language… A barrier most of us obtain, and are able to break with better communication. We cry trying to be reborn, to be free, but fail trying to understand.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Out of the Cage

I open the cage door
and out fly a million doves.

I peak in to find
 a pigeon in the corner.
How could I have known he would
be beneath their tread?
I step over to him –
he gives shivering stare.
A broken winged
pigeon cries
as I cradle him
under my arm.

Settled between
 my elbow and waist,
he nestles himself.
The fear starts to leave
his eyes. Trust.

It’s like setting
 the animals free
 at the zoo,
but all the animals
are cripples.

They couldn’t leave
 if they tried.

I’ll be your wings today. . .

But pigeon-
 I’m sorry
 I can’t take you today,
 the height your wings
took you yesterday.

Maybe our flight
 can be a different type.

I don’t care as long
as you get.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

But Who Said it Would?

Remind yourself of who used to be.
Think back to the circumstance
that made or broke your well-being.

Was it worth the threat
conjured up in your mind?

What if it’s even worse
than you remember,
and in a moment everything
could’ve been over?

Complete chaos.

When you couldn’t quite explain
what was going on with you –
the pressure quickly grew.

One spin of the head later
you find yourself dizzy,
stumbling to see the room,
and the moment pass you by.

You closed your eyes
to avoid getting nauseated –
opened them and it was gone.

Where did it go?
Why am I here?

Will I ever be the same again?

I don’t know, I can only try to be.

But broken is such an easy way to be –
dropped, dinged, cracked, crumbled
and eventually tossed away.

This life is now crashing after driving 150.
What you’re going to see will not be pretty.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Unless You Give it the Chance To

Think of space.

The blank ones waiting to fill this page.

Mystery- what’s going to write itself?
The misery of living what’s placed
in the path that leads to these words.

A mix of misery with a silver lining.

 A knack for knowing the loyalty
of those who surround you.

Naivety, a blind love for those
who disappoint you again and again.

The scenery sucks you in for a minute,
spits you out into a crowded city full
of scary strangers who surprise you.

Kindness in calamity, chaotic street traffic
becomes music to your ears.

Breathe, fill your lungs with the smoggy air,
be ready to get sucked in again.

It’s lonely in the clean scenic air.

No voice to listen but the sound
of your own thought.

What do you do if you’re ready
to drown that out too?

Take a walk, bask in what's to be.

One day you’ll get tired of even yourself.
Are you too tired to earn a new view of you?

Too old to learn it isn't overdue?

Start again with a smile on your face,
drop the old right in the grave again.

Accept that the world
won’t accept you.

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Too Bad It's Impossible

I miss the days when innocence
was unintentional.

Morality wasn't a question
of wrong or right,
but one of oriented detail
and tedium. A question
of intentions, integrity and honesty.

Now, we're down to
the ones who know better;
The ones in a place of social power
playing your emotions
like a death toll drum.

Using our innocent (children)
to present a personal vendetta
against our world. It's laughably-
one that's out of their control.

So I felt the threat again. Of being
the only one in my powerless position
that feels the way I do.

Leaving me so sick, I wanted to slip
out of my skin like a snake,
and leave the old behind.

Monday, April 30, 2018

When You Try Again

Welcome back into the world of reality.

The place your dreams are exclusive to sleep –
a quick addiction you must repeat.

So hit the snooze on life every morning
until they’ve been achieved.

It's the luck you stumble on
 to meet your goal –
born into the right family,
tumbling into wealth.

Although being smart
helps your draw…

Having the people in your life
to effectively communicate
that type of intelligence to you –

isn't at all your choice.

It limits the road of occupation
to a narrow, no turning lane.

Guidance is important –

number one
ahead of education
ever meeting you.

Can we quit falling over how life could have been
if better choices could be in our past?

Can we say the clean slate stopped mattering?

Break the chalkboard
and everything it ever stood for?

It’s like we write our ideas in the air
and they blow away
if a gust of wind comes to play.

I don’t want anything in life to be
as simple as the use of an eraser.
Pretending nothing happened,
it's memory – lost.

Carve in stone, make a concrete,
walk away if it doesn't work out.

Don't forget to revisit to know
what went wrong
and what not to do.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Sound familiar?

Pull time like silly putty,
slow to make it stretch
as long as possible.

From one hand to another.
Grab a friend to extend
it longer if you can.

When the line runs thin,
before it breaks,
ball it up,
do it again.

Hold it close to your chest,
give it a quick tug,
and break it in half.

Share it with others,
buy more if you will.


Saturday, April 21, 2018

Listen Up

"So long!" I say, as you turn
and rear your head to others.

As if, in some way, I'm malicious.

It's a judgment I'm willing to take,
as long as the floor's planted
beneath my feet. As long as the grass grows
below the sun. As long as I'm alive
to feel the same sun switch over to the moon.

I don't bend to fit your will.
I say what I mean, I mean what I say.
You can't twist my words to actions,
that I, by no means, ever agreed to enact.

That's the act of the snake.
He left you repressed,
waiting, sly, and strikes
with a venom you least expect.

Especially if the venom
never fell from my mouth:
Don't assume.
Don't spread the word.

Anytime I offer help,
take what help I offer.
Don't offer anyone the work they
are unwilling and unable to do.

That will leave you with
a junky job done,
by anyone.

An incomplete picture of
what the world should be.
Don't tear your view of the canvas
if you know the paint hasn't even
had the chance to speak.

I suggest you don't
squander what you're given.
Be grateful for what you've got.

Open your mind,
and open your eyes.
In an instant, you'll find
the helping hand you need.

Friday, April 13, 2018

To Leave the Ego Aside

Disparity is relentless,
the short end of the stick.
The wood shovel handle
that has you digging
your own grave.

It doesn't need
to be this way.

You can let go of your spade,
leave it fall to the ground,
pull yourself out of the hole
fore it's too deep to climb out.

Take a breath,
look within your sight.

Think- past ambitions,
have you reached them?
Do you need a break?

Don't let someone convince you
you aren't cut for this.

Do you need time?

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Activate

Be careful because
you can't be safe.
You might just get sucked dry
by what the press makes you say.

Stop saying it,
speak your mind.
You're not alive to swallow
someone elses ideas,
and regurgitate them
back into the earth.

Form your own opinion.

Stay yourself, be yourself,
because society may
try to program you
into being somebody else.

Think for yourself,
don't change for
anyone but yourself.
Walk on eggshells,
squash every bit
of shell you can,
because you've got ideas too.

Ideas that deserve to be heard,
and actions that should be carried out.

Don't let them sit on a shelf
in your mind like a trophy in a case,
take them out and use them.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Reality Left Me

You reach for attention-
all you hear,
the ringing
in your ears.

Your throat is dry-
face is warm,
skin so cracked

that if you smile you split a lip.
You smile despite the blood
dripping to your chin

Undoubtedly hopeless
you extend your arm,
offering the earth
your dirty hand.

Your face,
pushed in the mud.
Silt caked in the cracks.

You bled something
I can't imagine,
healing among all of that.

Friday, March 16, 2018

I'll Never Have

You’re flesh and water and bone.

Destined to dust-
back to the start.

Despite adorning your face
with powder and paint,
dressing your body
in the softest silks
and coolest cottons.

You can drape gold
'round your wrists,
ankles, and neck.

Put the finest diamonds
in your ears.

Your beauty can’t compare. . .

You can never be the fog
drifting on the mountain top.

You will never be a bed of rocks,
in a river,
supporting a swimming koi.

I want to be the color in THAT sky.

The kind so astonishing,
it makes you blind
to everything else.

I want a lot of things.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Forget Me

I want
to be
alone.

I want
to speak
to the world

I can't
have both.

There’s no way
to reach
you
     or me.

How to Ease the Anxiety

Ask yourself,
can you ever find a way?

Seems like the most hopeless
endeavor ever pursued.

So I go back;
 re-read the importance
I've written in my past,
realize this has been,
one of my worst struggles
for so many years.

I've lost my will to fight it.
I've grown weary and given up.
I've lost the energy to swim upstream.

It's time to come up for air,
to rest, to breathe,
and to try to exist.

I've got nothing left to offer,
you've taken it all away.

Will you ever let me breathe
free from your scrutiny?

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Keep Living

My mind- empty
   full of fog,
   crickets chirping,
   loud locusts jumping,
   cicadas screaming.


Hit the breaks,
my heart skips a beat.
My shoulder- restraint.
Three of us
stand cold today.


You, me, Anxiety,
and in this moment her voice
 has me deaf.


My head- lost,
   in the atmosphere, blind,
   moving on through the dense fog,
   I kneel to the ground,
   hold my face in my hands.


I'm taking a break,
     taking a breath.


The second this is over,
I'll keep walking
stay ready to scream,
   keep strong,
stay loud.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Leave Me Alone

Social rehearsal,
it can happen a million times
and still never play out as anticipated.

So many deep breaths, sighs,
and much hope for a great outcome.

Yet, at the end of the night,
you're stuck with the same
screeching chalkboard
creeks in your thoughts.

Then you hold yourself accountable
over anything, and everything;  
your hair, choice of dress, your voice,
that stupid blemish on your cheek,
the body you were born in.

The list grows bigger and bigger,
and swells to things you can not change.

You can NOT change!

Is this really what it boils down to?
Do you really believe that?

Maybe some things don’t need to change,
but I can tell you one thing for sure,
this anxious way of thinking DOES!

Because it's much too busy
tearing my mind to bits
while I've got more
important things to do.

Such as- living my life without
being pushed into a corner
by anxiety’s warm embrace.

Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Me

Let me indulge you,
let me cater
to your every whim.

What is it inside of me
that can satisfy
your every need?

All I've got is the
"I'm only one person"
blues to sing to you.

That's when I know
Anxiety. . .
She's got me
by the neck again,
pulling me offstage
with a shepherds crook.

Then she hovers above me
with a rain cloud
of self mis-judgement.

Imagine me, with a soggy,
wet lost puppy look on my face.

No one expects me
to cater to their every whim,
or satisfy their every need.

They only expect me to be.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

It's a Matter of Opinion

How many words
does the average person
speak in their lifetime?

The suggestion is near
nine hundred million.

If you slight your speech,
do you find the time to think?

Or is that simple
black space inside?

Perhaps no thought to rattle
that brain you've got...
I guess I'll give up ever knowing.

I wonder if those
who limit their voice
live happier lives.

Speak less to listen more,
and receive better
life lessons as a result.

The reason I over-speak?

The agonizing endless need
to explain myself
for no reason at all.
The anxiety that comes
with the thought behind it.
The need to clear the air.
The attempt at beating meaning
into someone's existence.

The madness
known as my mind
will take control
and leave me;
Whispering to myself.
Pacing in circles, with the most
useless anxiety you could imagine.

So I stop, take a breath,
take a break, and ask myself
is it even worth it?

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Talk About It

A house of cards.
The delicate thing you are.

A fragment of a sentence.
Or a fragment from a gun?

Use YOUR voice.

Don't give up. Don't give in.

To those voices.
They'll let you down.
Again and again and again.

Learn to love yourself.
Others will follow suit.

Self destruct-
never again.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The Ability to Be There


With wrists that burn with the sorrow
and grief of the word distress.


When will everyone understand?


The only way to break
the tyranny of bloodshed
is to show compassion
when mistreatment moves you to.


When will we stop idling by?


Stop seeing the damage done,
feeling it in our hearts,
and doing nothing to console that one?


We all know that one,
who could really use a friend right now.


Pay attention,
you'll see,
it's your responsibility.


To say a sorry for the lack of benevolence,
makes up for mistreatment
more than you will ever know.


The truth is,
it’s our fear
that stops us
from speaking up.


I’m guilty too.
I’m not afraid anymore.


I won’t let that stop me,
from using my voice any longer.


It’s potentially the most powerful
thing we possess.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Amber’s Attempt

You had me at a loss,
in shock at your attempt
of escaping the madness
known as your life.

Too focused on my emotion
to even take you seriously.

Swallowing the placebo effect
just to teach you a lesson.

If that wasn’t how you wanted to see me.

My flawed logic said
you’d understand why I wouldn’t
want to see you in such a state.

I never hid it,
I explained it was a lie.
I was still, slightly heart broken.
My mistakes, my anger,
my frustration nearly
made me lose a friend.

I’m sorry,

I’m not sure I ever said it.

On occasion,
I think about
how sorry I really am.

I hope you’ve got the life
you’ve always wanted.
The dreams you never
thought could come true.
We both know the truth is-
I never deserved a friend
as good as you.

So many mistakes I’ve made
at the expense of others,
I’ve learned
one is enough
to take a life.

I’m finally on the verge
of having the ability
to let the guilt go
after all this time has gone
right by me.

So I say a prayer for those
who are the me I use to be,
and whoever it is
you’ve turned into today.

With the hope held that anyone else,
young, impressionable, and stupid.
Will grow the ability to make
better decisions than we ever did.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Sometimes I Wonder

Some doctors will say
they aren't entirely sure
what the function
of the appendix
in the body is.

In some individuals,
I'm not entirely sure
what the function
of the brain is.


Saturday, February 10, 2018

I Can’t Wrap My Head Around It

Will I ever understand,
how, in one’s mind,
extreme violence becomes
the only path worth taking?

I wish I could spend time talking
to the minds of those individuals.

Explain how valuable human life really is.

Even though the likelihood
of listening ears is very low.
As long as people are
and have been talking
about such sensitive issues.
There has been, and will always be
hope for a light to spark
above someone’s head.

A blink,
and hopefully the realization
that their current line of thinking
isn’t working anymore.

Aware that I’m a dreamer,
nearly everything I say is
far fetched. Incredibly out of touch
with what might be your reality.

Something inside of me still screams
about these being the only types of dreams
with the potential to save someone’s life someday.

I know it’s absurd,
to feel I have that kind of insight,
I believe we all do.
The kind which holds that
kind of power over another life.

Maybe it’s childish of me
to think that all some people
need is to hear that someone cares. . .

I care.

These words are true,
they have more power than
many other I’ve heard before.

When are we going to start talking
to the great big elephant in the room?

It always seems like that elephant is me,
I’m learning that’s not always the case.

Sometimes the elephant has got
the most elegant way of thinking,
speaking, living, and perceiving.

Too often, we gloss the elephant over,
complain and cry about it.

Ever thought about staying silent, and listening
to the elephant in your life for a change?

Thursday, February 8, 2018

What You Can Do to Change the World

It starts with realizing
if you can change
one person’s mind,
you’ve already
accomplished your goal.


Who wants to sit around;
talking on and on,
over and over
in the same cynical circles,


speaking of everything
wrong with humanity
and the world we live in?


We should be talking about
what we can do to
become better people instead.


Starting with something
that should’ve been written
on the first pages of our lives. . .


Be thoughtful.


Incredibly thoughtful,
or at the very least, think

-if you’ve got a brain worth using.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Untangle It

I rub my thumb across my bottom lip.
Feel my fingerprint drag across.

It's a motion. . .

There you are across the room.
Seeing me struggle to breathe in again.

Wondering what it is
I'm listening to inside my head.

I can't swim against the current
called life, so it sweeps me up.

Tangles me in flotsam,
washes me with
confusion to untangle.

Drowning,
it's a motion. . .

It'll leave you floating face down
no matter how well you swim.

That is, unless, you wash up
on the shore with the willingness
to breathe again.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Don't Give Up on Yourself

Sometimes good deeds
come before good intentions.


A good heart is something earned,
but don't be discouraged.


Keep moving forward,
and I promise you,
your good deeds are not in vain.


After years of disregard
for right and wrong,
you manage to do something good.


Even an attempt at helping humanity
for popularity sake could eventually
change your heart.


Because if you do enough
good for the world,
you'll start seeing
the desperate need for it.


A good heart isn't born overnight,
it breaks an awful lot to get there.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Maybe You'll Lie a Bit

Once upon a time
you were someone
I wanted to be.

I picked,
a poor choice
for a role-model.

I shook the rug
to please your needs,
but what can fill the void
that is your very own
beating heart?

Friendship can be
as important to let go
as it is to keep.

For some sort of mutual benefit
you may not gain from me.

Then I become something
you make someone else
shake out of your rug instead.

The dirt between the fibers,
you found out,
you don't want.

Let me go.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

It's Selflessness

It's not a check on the list
of accomplishments.

Nor does it find any favor
in power gained from wealth alone.

Success is the creation of hard work defined.

Success should be the freedom you've gained
to give everything away in a heartbeat.

For the simple heart of humanity
to have a chance to achieve it themselves.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

A Scary Thought

Imagine opening a new puzzle. . .

You tear off the plastic casing.
Break the beautiful paper that seals
the bottom of the box.
Perhaps you struggle a bit
getting the lid off.
With a lift and wiggle,
the bottom drops to the table top.

If you're a puzzle enthusiast,
you're excited to dump a pile
of pieces on the table.

What if?

What if when you started to organize
the pieces to this puzzle...

Find the corners first.
Edge pieces in one pile.
Weird colors in one,
and certain shapes in another.

But you quickly notice.
There are no corners,
no weird colors,
no edges,
no peculiar shapes.

Each and every piece
is exactly the same.

With Missing Pieces

In the past I've wondered
if our hearts were alike,
one for one.

With my need to debate,
and yours to prove a point.

Would the intriguing
interest even be alive?

Would our ego's grow too big
to care for one another?

Our picture is complete,
and two persona's alike
leave the puzzle.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Of You and Me

You should know I regret.
I regret our relationship,
meeting you.

Despite this, I even
 regret pushing you away.
So forget being able to know
how life's treating you.
A rare thought of you
as that distorted love letter
in my mind.

Despite my delusion all I want
is to see you succeed.
My selfishness.
My fear of your perversion,
and my want,
shoved you right out of my life.

Self righteousness can have consequences
you're unable to see in the moment.
What I thought was strength.
Was a barrier of brains
trying to work everything out
in my messy mind.

But what else did I know?

I was too young to know
I'd want to hear from you again.
That I'd want to know
if you had children,
or how many. . .

That I'd want to see their faces if you did.

If only you hadn't harmed me,
and by your own admissions!
Broke my trust,
broke me,
shattered to self-doubt.

It isn't all about me wanting to see you.
I want you to see me too.
All the aspects of my life
that keep me happily who I am today.

My kindness.
Because all you were able
to see was the cold side of me in the moment.
Even though you understood the reason
I chose to act the way I did.
I wish you could see the forgiving side of me.
Even if it meant the end.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

There’s Nothing Else to Do

I met a carnie long ago
who told me
I should be a philosopher.

But I close my eyes
and dream at night
like everyone else.

Drifting off to sleep,
I whisper out loud,

"I don't know what to do."

At any days end,
I'm at one with my pillow.
Sleeping on a bed
of potential answers.

I'll sleep on it.

A carnival ride-
no tickets needed
this time.

I didn't hold my breath
at the top of the ferris wheel
of what I wish to be.

A whisper from my lips,
"I don't know what to do."

The whispers
grew into prayers.

Then to voices climbing in my head
I couldn't sleep without.

The unanswered prayer grew
louder then stopped.

Dreams. . .

Struck me right in the eye;
do nothing different,
work on your words.

Be always as kind
and compassionate
as you can.

Living is enough to make
an impression on the earth.