Monday, February 29, 2016

This is Not My Job, This is Not My Problem.

While I'm here struggling to see
what's beyond my front door,
much bigger things are happening around me.

So many questions left unanswered
in this life seem to start with why.

Somewhere in my unspoken mind
my dilemma seems to be
from my window,

where I'm only able
to witness this world we built
crumble into dust;

all I want to ask is why,
when it became my job
to obtain any and all of the impossible,
did the initiative you failed to take
come crashing down on me?

Friday, February 26, 2016

Cut it Down

How many things do you need to bury
in order to move on?

Half of you is here,
while the other half
is rooted deeply behind you
in a dark place where you're unable
to see the faces of those who care for you.

They don't care about your past
or cater to the guilt you feel.

People worth calling friends are really family
when the rest of the world
seems to be fed up with you;

when the last face you want to see is your own,
look to theirs for comfort.

You never fully understand someone
unless you've lived their past
and with full contentment
realize how little you really have,

and remember when you need to be heard,
just listen to yourself first
to be sure you're still making sense
in such a nonsensical world.

Monday, February 22, 2016

Sweet Dreams, or Not. . .

I focus on my work tonight
with the worries of the clock
dancing in the back of my mind.

Even after all the hours go by,
the sun comes up,
and panic still sets in
like my first attack was yesterday.

So I put up blinds to block out the sun
with the fear that I may never sleep again,
if I can't see it,
it's not there,

Why take a pill to end the anxiousness,
when delving deep into this task would do the same?

There are days when I wish I could function like everyone else,
and there are days when I do.

It's the persistent thought that doesn't let my mind rest.
The one that decides to come up with new ideas
as soon as I start to doze off,
and robs me of any rest I should have had.

The eyes are wide open,
the entire night wasted laying awake in a dark room
having conversations with myself in my mind about
everything, nothing, and anything.

Sometimes I wish my mind
would just slow down,
shut up,
and let me sleep.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

What I Wish I Would've Said

I don't know the secrets you hide today
and I hope, despite how hard today may become
that you're always blessed with the courage
to break through this day
and the strength to live on until tomorrow.

A deep breathe will do you good in your quiet times,
so take one,
take two,
take as many as you need.

Remember to slow down and enjoy
the little bit of life you have left in you.

When life caves in around you,
close your eyes and pray to god it's not the end.

Then when all else fails,
fight for the life you've got,
because here is where you belong,
and here is where we need you.