Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Untangle It

I rub my thumb across my bottom lip.
Feel my fingerprint drag across.

It's a motion. . .

There you are across the room.
Seeing me struggle to breathe in again.

Wondering what it is
I'm listening to inside my head.

I can't swim against the current
called life, so it sweeps me up.

Tangles me in flotsam,
washes me with
confusion to untangle.

Drowning,
it's a motion. . .

It'll leave you floating face down
no matter how well you swim.

That is, unless, you wash up
on the shore with the willingness
to breathe again.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Don't Give Up on Yourself

Sometimes good deeds
come before good intentions.


A good heart is something earned,
but don't be discouraged.


Keep moving forward,
and I promise you,
your good deeds are not in vain.


After years of disregard
for right and wrong,
you manage to do something good.


Even an attempt at helping humanity
for popularity sake could eventually
change your heart.


Because if you do enough
good for the world,
you'll start seeing
the desperate need for it.


A good heart isn't born overnight,
it breaks an awful lot to get there.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Maybe You'll Lie a Bit

Once upon a time
you were someone
I wanted to be.

I picked,
a poor choice
for a role-model.

I shook the rug
to please your needs,
but what can fill the void
that is your very own
beating heart?

Friendship can be
as important to let go
as it is to keep.

For some sort of mutual benefit
you may not gain from me.

Then I become something
you make someone else
shake out of your rug instead.

The dirt between the fibers,
you found out,
you don't want.

Let me go.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

It's Selflessness

It's not a check on the list
of accomplishments.

Nor does it find any favor
in power gained from wealth alone.

Success is the creation of hard work defined.

Success should be the freedom you've gained
to give everything away in a heartbeat.

For the simple heart of humanity
to have a chance to achieve it themselves.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

A Scary Thought

Imagine opening a new puzzle. . .

You tear off the plastic casing.
Break the beautiful paper that seals
the bottom of the box.
Perhaps you struggle a bit
getting the lid off.
With a lift and wiggle,
the bottom drops to the table top.

If you're a puzzle enthusiast,
you're excited to dump a pile
of pieces on the table.

What if?

What if when you started to organize
the pieces to this puzzle...

Find the corners first.
Edge pieces in one pile.
Weird colors in one,
and certain shapes in another.

But you quickly notice.
There are no corners,
no weird colors,
no edges,
no peculiar shapes.

Each and every piece
is exactly the same.

With Missing Pieces

In the past I've wondered
if our hearts were alike,
one for one.

With my need to debate,
and yours to prove a point.

Would the intriguing
interest even be alive?

Would our ego's grow too big
to care for one another?

Our picture is complete,
and two persona's alike
leave the puzzle.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Of You and Me

You should know I regret.
I regret our relationship,
meeting you.

Despite this, I even
 regret pushing you away.
So forget being able to know
how life's treating you.
A rare thought of you
as that distorted love letter
in my mind.

Despite my delusion all I want
is to see you succeed.
My selfishness.
My fear of your perversion,
and my want,
shoved you right out of my life.

Self righteousness can have consequences
you're unable to see in the moment.
What I thought was strength.
Was a barrier of brains
trying to work everything out
in my messy mind.

But what else did I know?

I was too young to know
I'd want to hear from you again.
That I'd want to know
if you had children,
or how many. . .

That I'd want to see their faces if you did.

If only you hadn't harmed me,
and by your own admissions!
Broke my trust,
broke me,
shattered to self-doubt.

It isn't all about me wanting to see you.
I want you to see me too.
All the aspects of my life
that keep me happily who I am today.

My kindness.
Because all you were able
to see was the cold side of me in the moment.
Even though you understood the reason
I chose to act the way I did.
I wish you could see the forgiving side of me.
Even if it meant the end.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

There’s Nothing Else to Do

I met a carnie long ago
who told me
I should be a philosopher.

But I close my eyes
and dream at night
like everyone else.

Drifting off to sleep,
I whisper out loud,

"I don't know what to do."

At any days end,
I'm at one with my pillow.
Sleeping on a bed
of potential answers.

I'll sleep on it.

A carnival ride-
no tickets needed
this time.

I didn't hold my breath
at the top of the ferris wheel
of what I wish to be.

A whisper from my lips,
"I don't know what to do."

The whispers
grew into prayers.

Then to voices climbing in my head
I couldn't sleep without.

The unanswered prayer grew
louder then stopped.

Dreams. . .

Struck me right in the eye;
do nothing different,
work on your words.

Be always as kind
and compassionate
as you can.

Living is enough to make
an impression on the earth.