Saturday, January 20, 2018

It's Selflessness

It's not a check on the list
of accomplishments.

Nor does it find any favor
in power gained from wealth alone.

Success is the creation of hard work defined.

Success should be the freedom you've gained
to give everything away in a heartbeat.

For the simple heart of humanity
to have a chance to achieve it themselves.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

A Scary Thought

Imagine opening a new puzzle. . .

You tear off the plastic casing.
Break the beautiful paper that seals
the bottom of the box.
Perhaps you struggle a bit
getting the lid off.
With a lift and wiggle,
the bottom drops to the table top.

If you're a puzzle enthusiast,
you're excited to dump a pile
of pieces on the table.

What if?

What if when you started to organize
the pieces to this puzzle...

Find the corners first.
Edge pieces in one pile.
Weird colors in one,
and certain shapes in another.

But you quickly notice.
There are no corners,
no weird colors,
no edges,
no peculiar shapes.

Each and every piece
is exactly the same.

With Missing Pieces

In the past I've wondered
if our hearts were alike,
one for one.

With my need to debate,
and yours to prove a point.

Would the intriguing
interest even be alive?

Would our ego's grow too big
to care for one another?

Our picture is complete,
and two persona's alike
leave the puzzle.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Of You and Me

You should know I regret.
I regret our relationship,
meeting you.

Despite this, I even
 regret pushing you away.
So forget being able to know
how life's treating you.
A rare thought of you
as that distorted love letter
in my mind.

Despite my delusion all I want
is to see you succeed.
My selfishness.
My fear of your perversion,
and my want,
shoved you right out of my life.

Self righteousness can have consequences
you're unable to see in the moment.
What I thought was strength.
Was a barrier of brains
trying to work everything out
in my messy mind.

But what else did I know?

I was too young to know
I'd want to hear from you again.
That I'd want to know
if you had children,
or how many. . .

That I'd want to see their faces if you did.

If only you hadn't harmed me,
and by your own admissions!
Broke my trust,
broke me,
shattered to self-doubt.

It isn't all about me wanting to see you.
I want you to see me too.
All the aspects of my life
that keep me happily who I am today.

My kindness.
Because all you were able
to see was the cold side of me in the moment.
Even though you understood the reason
I chose to act the way I did.
I wish you could see the forgiving side of me.
Even if it meant the end.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

There’s Nothing Else to Do

I met a carnie long ago
who told me
I should be a philosopher.

But I close my eyes
and dream at night
like everyone else.

Drifting off to sleep,
I whisper out loud,

"I don't know what to do."

At any days end,
I'm at one with my pillow.
Sleeping on a bed
of potential answers.

I'll sleep on it.

A carnival ride-
no tickets needed
this time.

I didn't hold my breath
at the top of the ferris wheel
of what I wish to be.

A whisper from my lips,
"I don't know what to do."

The whispers
grew into prayers.

Then to voices climbing in my head
I couldn't sleep without.

The unanswered prayer grew
louder then stopped.

Dreams. . .

Struck me right in the eye;
do nothing different,
work on your words.

Be always as kind
and compassionate
as you can.

Living is enough to make
an impression on the earth.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Compassion

At an impasse,
my anxiety
got the best of me.

You saw me vulnerable.
Understanding, with your arms
drawing near to me.
My thoughts kept us both awake.

I, so incapacitated,
all I see is your blur.
The sound of your voice, my single light,
no scorn for my state of being.
Instead you listened to my pathetic sobbing.
Used your sleeve to wipe away my saddness.

You comprehend my fears,
my desperate need to overcome
each and every one.
My need to let my fears and anxieties
eat away at me.

Until I have no choice
but to crumble and rebuild.

I consider you feelings,
question myself.

What have I done?

It's telling the type of man you are
to refuse to hold my storm against me.

To tell me to move on.

Cut the Grass

Quit living each day like it's your last.

Acting on your last impulses,
fulfilling your mundane last wishes.

Start treating others like it's theirs.

Like flowers, we whither
at our season's ending.

The single lasting sentiment-
the gift of our thought and insight.

Without a doubt we're all created equal.
Do we ever stop to think the part,
how will others treat us on our last day?

So do your part to treat
all others the same.

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Uncertainty

Second guessing yourself in this world,
full of all it's turmoil.

How do you ever learn to trust yourself?
Your instinct?
Under the right ear is the whisper
of honorable intentions.
Under the left-
the whisper of intentional failure.

Calculated thinking.
Social rehearsal. 

Can create a formula to combat
all that's muddled in your mind.

Cruelty isn't Rewarded Quietly

Those who act out of spite,
in silence give in to a guilt greater.

Than our minds capacity can't see.

We're aren't divided by what's
trying to break us to pieces.
Instead we're split by our
own sense of self.

The lackluster logic
that tells us
that cruelty may be correct.

Is that ever a thought
worth entertaining?

Cruelty seems to be
a step ahead.

The sole way to overcome him
is by first overcoming ourselves.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

So Get Out of the Rain of Despair

Do you ever wonder if we deserve
the second chances we're given?

I know at times in my own life
I can answer this question
with a certain no. 

But I take those chances;

Even if it feels risky-
I run with it. . .
This is mine,
this is my chance.

Sure, I could take the break to end it all.
Exit this world today, but is any fun in that?

As unfortunate as it is,
suffering is part of the beauty in life.
How do we inspire the ability
to overcome hardships without it?

I've been under this cloud of agony,
it isn't a new feeling for me.

Those new to the storm-
may live in dissidence.
With no ability to step out
from under the cloud.

Take a breath,
take your chance,
and run with it.

The storm looks  different
if you're watching from a distance.
Realize the sun will shine again.