About Me

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I'm an open book here, and I have a lot to say, so I'll just say it.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Where Do We Begin?

A beautiful sight,
it may be,
but sleep too long and you'll see
the havoc it will play.

Toying with your mind to be,
nothing but a symphony
of fear and frustration
for not being able to move on
from this place I'm in.

It hovers over me,
above my chest,
like sirens in the night,
out to steal your soul ....

“I am your shipwreck,”
she says to me.

“forget ever trying
to see the shore again” she said
“because you are bound
to drown with me in agony.”

I'd like to be able to say,
that you don't have any
power over me Anxiety,

but she leaves me listless
crying like a baby,
"Oh how will I ever
be able to overcome this?"

But wait, I am not helpless,
I have some power over you too.

I can't stand here,
letting you drag me to drown,
while I’m so busy fighting the battles
going on in my own mind,
that I’m unable to see
a watery grave surrounding me.

There's always time to save yourself,
but sometimes the question needs to be asked.


Sunday, February 5, 2017

It Happens to the Best of Us

One person decides to do something

different
for a change,

and it's like the rest of the world
does everything in it's

power
to stop you.

Well, don't worry.




Saturday, February 4, 2017

But a Speck


If I were a moment,
I’d make myself a forgettable one.

A speck of dust in your eye,
an annoyance you seem to wipe away.

I’d happen every now and then.

If you were a moment,
you’d be the one in my life
where I was taught the lesson;

that it can be the people closest
to you who are the most unkind.

The moment where I realize
I never needed those people to begin with,

and the moment where I gathered
the strength to grow self-confidence

from nothing. . . 

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Lend a Hand

There I was,
asked to spill myself out
into the world again

-in a social setting of like minded people-

it's such an easy task.

What about when we're thrown back
into the real world again?

It's easy to stand up
for what you believe in,
when you're not standing
in the lion's den,
in the comfort of anxiety free living
and feeling great about yourself.

It's so much easier for us
to become one of them
and sink our teeth in
right where they don't belong.

Right in the heart of someone else's

confidence, 

leaving them with a lack 
of faith in our small world.

Why is it so difficult to accept yourself
in the faces of others opinions
when you know yours is just as valid as theirs?

We need to focus,
we need to continue to love life for its entirety,
while lovingly accepting its faults
and doing our very best to fix them.

Stop talking about your beliefs and ideals.

Live them.




Down a Two Way Street

Wouldn't it be nice if,
instead of being overcome
by apprehension;

the timid attempts
to annihilate your outlook
were able to help you gather strength
instead of ripping you to shreds.

As for the annihilators, maybe,
instead of being birds of prey,
let your perspective speak for itself
and realize that empathy
is more than an essential trait.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Get It?

You read me right

I can’t be a hit every day,
(I don’t need your pity,)
sometimes I’ve got to be a miss.
(I need your support.)

between the lines.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Preston, You Blew It

Once you invited me to a house party,
insisted I go, despite my hesitance;

and as I arrived
I remember how excited you were
to see me.

I remember how
a few drinks later
you laughed behind my back-

something about how I was too prim and proper
for being the only sober one in the room.

You didn't even know I overheard  
maybe you saw some scorn in my eyes
when you saw me standing just a few feet away.

I put my head down,
darkened my eyes and walked out
like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

You were my ride home,
and I waited outside for you
until this all blew over.

A miserable night. . .

A dedicated friend who knows
where she just doesn't belong
but can’t leave out of fear
you may hurt yourself or someone else.

Party’s over. . .

Stumbling over in dismay,
I look at you then look away.

I can't even look at you.

I sigh,
I look anyway,
but you're looking away too.

Instead of going on about
how darkened, disappointed,
and disheartened I felt- I thought
it's not the time for that right now,
so I threw my arm around you anyway.

Gave you a smile and just said it's okay-
just before you start to sob with your sickly sorries..

I couldn't let you drive us home this way,
so I sat with you, stranded in an abandoned parking lot
until the headache was over.

Me:

awake all night, praying we would stay safe
in this spot and you sleeping neck forward
with your face in your chest,
head tapping the horn,
not a care in the world right now.

How could you?

Make me so incredibly insecure,
how could I be so inhibited?

Looking back-
hindsight 20/20-
it could have saved my life that night.

Probably the worst mistake I ever made
was being your best friend through your battles.



Tuesday, January 10, 2017

When the Dream Wishes for More Mercy

One person can't just be one person
-we're  several people wrapped in one.

She thought as he walked down the aisle of the courtroom awaiting trial.

Beside him on one side a gallery of  his family and friends,
the other a long list of those who stand against him for his "ungodly" crimes.
A jury of his peers to appease to the plaintiff's needs,
in spite of a defendants accidental deeds.

What if he was your son?

What if he was your future husband?

Possibly the father of your child?

Who's to blame?

The son you raised and considered the perfect child?

The man you swore the rest of your life to?

The kind and loving man who raised your first and only child?

Too often we turn criminals in to monsters
when we need to be asking where we went wrong.

What exactly did we miss and how can we do better next time?

We need to get out of the mentality that screams at us saying,
he must pay!

Start forgiving those who wronged us,
because despite whatever it is he may have done,
here's what he could have been to you;

the best friend you could have asked for,
your oldest son ready to be married to his favorite person,
your father, who's always happy to be yours.

A man more than willing to take the blame when at fault,
but what about when he isn't,
and still so many are willing to persecute?


Sunday, January 1, 2017

Second Chances

You know they're hard to find,
so when you stumble upon one

keep it.

Remember it wherever you go
because that kindness handed to you
is a rare opportunity to take,

and don't forget to give yourself several.


Sunday, December 25, 2016

I Never Told You That

You don’t have to like me
-who says I was being relatable?

You don’t have to respect me
-who says I’ve earned it?

You don’t have to hear me
-who says I’m worth being heard?