I focus on my work tonight
with the worries of the clock
dancing in the back of my mind.
Even after all the hours go by,
the sun comes up,
and panic still sets in
like my first attack was yesterday.
So I put up blinds to block out the sun
with the fear that I may never sleep again,
if I can't see it,
it's not there,
Why take a pill to end the anxiousness,
when delving deep into this task would do the same?
There are days when I wish I could function like everyone else,
and there are days when I do.
It's the persistent thought that doesn't let my mind rest.
The one that decides to come up with new ideas
as soon as I start to doze off,
and robs me of any rest I should have had.
The eyes are wide open,
the entire night wasted laying awake in a dark room
having conversations with myself in my mind about
everything, nothing, and anything.
Sometimes I wish my mind
would just slow down,
and let me sleep.