Lend a Hand

There I was,
asked to spill myself out
into the world again

-in a social setting of like minded people-

it's such an easy task.

What about when we're thrown back
into the real world again?

It's easy to stand up
for what you believe in,
when you're not standing
in the lion's den,
in the comfort of anxiety free living
and feeling great about yourself.

It's so much easier for us
to become one of them
and sink our teeth in
right where they don't belong.

Right in the heart of someone else's

confidence, 

leaving them with a lack 

of faith in our small world.

Why is it so difficult to accept yourself
in the faces of others opinions
when you know yours is just as valid as theirs?

We need to focus,
we need to continue to love life for its entirety,
while lovingly accepting its faults
and doing our very best to fix them.

Stop talking about your beliefs and ideals.

Live them.

Down a Two Way Street

Wouldn't it be nice if,
instead of being overcome
by apprehension;

the timid attempts
to annihilate your outlook
were able to help you gather strength
instead of ripping you to shreds.

As for the annihilators, maybe,
instead of being birds of prey,
let your perspective speak for itself
and realize that empathy
is more than an essential trait.

Get It?

You read me right

I can’t be a hit every day,

(I don’t need your pity,)

sometimes I’ve got to be a miss.

(I need your support.)

between the lines.

Preston, You Blew It

Once you invited me to a house party,

insisted I go, despite my hesitance;

and as I arrived

I remember how excited you were

to see me.

I remember how

a few drinks later

you laughed behind my back-

something about how I was too prim and proper

for being the only sober one in the room.

You didn't even know I overheard  

maybe you saw some scorn in my eyes
when you saw me standing just a few feet away.

I put my head down,

darkened my eyes and walked out

like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

You were my ride home,

and I waited outside for you

until this all blew over.

A miserable night. . .

A dedicated friend who knows

where she just doesn't belong

but can’t leave out of fear

you may hurt yourself or someone else.

Party’s over. . .

Stumbling over in dismay,

I look at you then look away.

I can't even look at you.

I sigh,

I look anyway,

but you're looking away too.

Instead of going on about

how darkened, disappointed,

and disheartened I felt- I thought

it's not the time for that right now,

so I threw my arm around you anyway.

Gave you a smile and just said it's okay-

just before you start to sob with your sickly sorries..

I couldn't let you drive us home this way,

so I sat with you, stranded in an abandoned parking lot

until the headache was over.

Me:

awake all night, praying we would stay safe

in this spot and you sleeping neck forward

with your face in your chest,

head tapping the horn,

not a care in the world right now.

How could you?

Make me so incredibly insecure,

how could I be so inhibited?

Looking back-

hindsight 20/20-

it could have saved my life that night.

Probably the worst mistake I ever made

was being your best friend through your battles.

When the Dream Wishes for More Mercy

One person can't just be one person
-we're  several people wrapped in one.

She thought as he walked down the aisle of the courtroom awaiting trial.

Beside him on one side a gallery of  his family and friends,
the other a long list of those who stand against him for his "ungodly" crimes.
A jury of his peers to appease to the plaintiff's needs,
in spite of a defendants accidental deeds.

What if he was your son?

What if he was your future husband?

Possibly the father of your child?

Who's to blame?

The son you raised and considered the perfect child?

The man you swore the rest of your life to?

The kind and loving man who raised your first and only child?

Too often we turn criminals in to monsters
when we need to be asking where we went wrong.

What exactly did we miss and how can we do better next time?

We need to get out of the mentality that screams at us saying,
he must pay!

Start forgiving those who wronged us,
because despite whatever it is he may have done,
here's what he could have been to you;

the best friend you could have asked for,
your oldest son ready to be married to his favorite person,
your father, who's always happy to be yours.

A man more than willing to take the blame when at fault,
but what about when he isn't,
and still so many are willing to persecute?

Second Chances

You know they're hard to find,
so when you stumble upon one

keep it.

Remember it wherever you go
because that kindness handed to you
is a rare opportunity to take,

and don't forget to give yourself several.

I Never Told You That

You don’t have to like me

-who says I was being relatable?

You don’t have to respect me

-who says I’ve earned it?

You don’t have to hear me

-who says I’m worth being heard?

Be Yourself

You act so counterfeit,
so fictitious,
so sunken in

to your so called sparkling,
yet incredibly unoriginal
presence you persuade this world
to put their faith in.

Now who do you claim to be;

the person who talked to me for hours
about the substance of our lives,

or the one who speaks of shallow wit?

Reality told me today-
whatever substance once existed
is now nowhere to be found.

Quit covering yourself in dimwitted
attempts at being someone else
and don't deny yourself the chance to. . .

Questions for My Multiple Personalities

Remember when we put our faith into paper fortunes?

Back when he said she said
defined our self worth,
and focusing on our losses
left us with nothing left to gain.

Remember when we had no personalities,
and passed notes to prattle on
about our petty lives?

Where was the observant one?

Was he too busy writing notes
to himself about how he felt things should be?

Too busy to see how things really are
and missing out on experiencing
how relationships really form.

Why did the reliant one always take over?

So focused on other's assessment of himself,
full of vacant jubilation,
yet so far from full of himself.

He's the one who can't be left alone,
the one incredibly lost,
annihilated by loneliness.

Where did this strong one suddenly come from?

The one who's apprehensive, protective,
but sometimes too inhibited
to live his life pleasantly.

Why is he so hard to handle sometimes?

Always stepping in at the most inopportune time.

Why does he never step up when I need him?

So I Try Not to Think About It

He looks at me with his tired eyes

as he drifts off to sleep.

He's dying, not really, but you know we all are,

and I know eventually his will hit me

harder than any other.

I think about how yesterday I was almost 16,

and today you're 30.

A decade has passed,

but it's as if yesterday we were meeting

for the first time on the porch of my parents house,

then walking around with my friends and I

as if we owned the town;

when the only thing we really ever owned

were the disposable cameras in our hands

before everything went all digital on us.

Time goes by too fast to force yourself to own

all the animosity you and I

have been able to throw away over the years,

no matter who you may be;

brothers or sisters,

friends,

enemies and even us lovers

-keep in mind that despite our love or disdain,

our bodies won't last forever

and one day we're all likely throw a shovel of dirt

over someone else's. 

Hopefully not anytime soon,

but I know one day we'll all have tired eyes.