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I'm an open book here, and I have a lot to say, so I'll just say it.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Moving On.

There are no words to explain the pain that anxiety brings.
There's no escape from the delusion of repetitive thought.
There's no amount of activity to make the attack go away.
There's just a dark mind with very little light, and nowhere to run.
There's a heart that feels empty with no explanation and no way to fill it.
There's hope in your head but fear in your heart.
There's wanting control where control just can't be given.
There's a bodily disconnection from your brain, along with yourself and everyone you know,
there's the relationships you lost and the enemies you gained.
There's the misunderstanding and the realization that my disease may have pushed you away

but I am not EVER going to give up on the fight to free my mind from mental illness,
because I've come so far from where I started that;

There are words to explain the pain
and there is an escape from delusion.
The attack is gone,
my mind is bright and I don't need to run.
My heart is full with an abundance of creativity and love that couldn't possibly run dry,
my head is clear and my heart is brave.
Control is often out of my hands but the choices I make are up to me,
connections can be repaired but only if it's worth it.
There's the friends and family that stuck around
and there's the fact that some friends just aren't worth keeping,

and then there's healing,
there's moving on from the years of damage that destruction made on my mind.