This Flight is the End and Start of My Life.

I've gone from staring at that one star out of my hospital window
fearing it would fall down on me and burn me to death,
to desperately, jumping, daring to catch that one star
which I once feared would nearly kill me.

Not only have I moved on from
that one small unreachable star,
I've created one for you and I,
and for every gold star out there
I put myself aside
for a better life.

I decided I'd rather be on this flight
staring out the window at the sun,
instead of fearing the potential ones
floating somewhere out in the atmosphere,

because I have more to offer this world
than a sad seat in a hospital room
next to the window.

Somewhere along the skyline of this world
I must've forgotten who I was,
but before I was ever able to see the world,
I'm not sure I ever even knew.

I know everyone struggles with self;
self esteem,
self worth,
and the ability to shut off self-consciousness
so the world can see you,

but I wish I could begin to explain
how much worse it is in your head.

I'm telling you to take a deep breath,
and stop the self-abuse,

because sometimes we make life
so much more difficult
than it ever needs to be.

So if you could just start forgiving yourself,
it'd make moving on
to making your dreams come true
so much easier for you.

As Long as We're Together

Here we go,
a turn in the road,
and another dark night drive
song to sing to.

For hours on what looks like
such a seamless
and endless
road to the middle
of a nowhere that
I'm soon to call home.

"I'd rather stay on
the East coast,"
I said,

"but I want whatever
will make you happy
because I can be happy
anywhere."

That's conditional of course.

Nowhere

Searching for a home
I can't quite find,

then I saw you
standing on a street corner
begging for a penny,
or some peace of mind.

Money isn't the important thing,
it's the power of having people
who are more than willing
to take care of you
in your time of need.

A house is a hard candy
kind of thing.

Sure,
it's sweet to have
but as soon as you bite
it can break your teeth,

and all the unimportant things
we fill our houses with,
like commercialism.

They break our quality of life,
and where's the profit in that?

Remember That

I had an epiphany today,
words,
I'm sure I've said to myself before.

Words of comfort,
words of wisdom,
words that change;

your mind,
your outlook,
your mentality.

Words that change your life
and give you some relief
from the exhaust fumes
you've been breathing
because everyone knows
you could use a breath
of fresh air for once.

You can't avoid reflecting,
but you can always look forward.

And that's Why I Love You

A little bit of in between is where we are
we make the happy medium here,

we seep into a shred of hope
that someday soon
we can both have what we want
out of a life
which only started treating us well
when we met.

We make our dreams come alive.

Sometimes we have to play
what feels like
life's longest waiting game
to get where we need to be,

but if in the end
it benefits us both
to take the time to think,

I know we'd take it every time.

Don't Buckle Under the Pressure, Push Past it

When you start finding
that you aren't the person
you thought you were,

know that you're your own enemy.

Push past the pain you think you caused,
start to see far past your insecurities,
then get to the issue to find
the great person you can become.

Although I don't know you anymore,
I know that sometimes
it takes someone else to see
what you can't yet see in yourself.

Somehow

The recollection isn't real,
it's an invention of a mind
threatened by the thought
of what was once lived.

There's no way to erase the fear
of an irrational illness
that can take over any time it pleases.

Delusions, deceptions, dark hallucinations
are the only memories that entered my mind
since it decided amnesia was a better exit.

There's no way to revive the memory
amnesia stole from me, but I don't
sit in a state of self destruction
waiting for the next bomb to go off on me.

I walk around, take my chances,
and if step on a land mine
I trust I'll survive the aftermath.

And You Become the Levee.

In response to intrusive thoughts,
sometimes you just
have to take a breath,
and tell yourself,
"It's just not true."

Don't let them tear you apart.
Don't let them lock you up.
Don't let them define who you are.

Let them be a flowing river.
Let them seep around your existence.
Let them make you strong enough to withstand the current.

They will come and go
stirring you less and less,
until one day the thought is gone forever.

It Breaks My Heart

Even though I'd enjoy
the comfort of an old friend,
you make yourself sparse
and stay a stranger
as if I'd done something
severe to harm you,
when I know I haven't.

Blue eyes, white hair, pale skin,
hunched over slightly
as you use to do,
a young man with an old look,
that's how I remember you.

As an amazing friend
should stay that way,

but life

doesn't work that way.

Where did you go?

The question of your existence
often keeps me up at night
screaming to myself in my mind,

the you,
I use to know
is no longer so.

That's My Husband

I take comfort in knowing
that with all the chaos
made up in my mind,

you're a constant,
completely supportive
companion in my life.

So I drag my fingers across
your skin while you sleep,
and scoot up behind you
while you snore.

It's nice to have a place to call home,
a place where I'll never be alone.

Where one familiar face
will always embrace me,
and be there for me
even when I'm broken.