And I Can Only Say that I Miss You.

Once death hits
our hearts will always
be beaten down,
and broken.

Remember that it takes
time to rebuild
and just because
a love is lost
doesn't mean they're
gone for good,

so let's sleep
the sorrow away
and leave all
the lost love behind.

Never forget that
every day is a chance
to realize that in the end
you only did all you could.

I have a Lot on My Mind.

I walk for miles through memories
and see no end to you refusing
to see me even if you tried.

Not even a turn of the head
or a glance of the eye,
and all the battles in my mind
of a friendship that needs
to be left behind,

remind me that
you're not wounded, or broken,
you're not even lost like I am.

So how long will I be thinking of you,
how many years have to go by before
you're finally gone, and the memories
are stolen from my mind?

In the meantime,
I can only be happy
for what I still have.

I Filtered You Out of My Mind.

In our minds what we know,
is space and room to grow.

Fill it up,
and empty it
out as you go.

Useless information
is filtered out
all the time.

Love is what we define,
as a pretty hard thing
to leave behind.

Still, you're definition
must be much different
from mine.

One Explanation of Anxiety, and Panic Attacks

Why does it always
haunt me at night,
robbing me of my sleep?

The demons of my day
keep me
sinfully staying up late,
and sinfully sleeping
to avoid the next day.

So I'm stuck
in the night
and an array of the day
is just a dream,
a story so to say.

Then when it becomes real
panic seems to set in.
So real,
really doesn't feel real at all.

So here I am. . .

On my knees
ripping seams
trying to fix the mess
made of this black dress.

Needle in, needle out
poke my finger
bleed a bit,
ignore the pain.

Zippers out, zippers in
that's not right,
take it out
and put it in again.

Seams sewn shut
machine's worn thin,
guess it's time
to use my hands again.

What is This Weather For?

The stars are here
and the skies are clear
then the clouds rolled in
when April and I came;

I didn't mean to make you turn thunder,
I didn't mean to make you turn cold,
I didn't mean to change your season,
I didn't mean to swallow you whole.

I know I'm not just what you need.
I know I'm not just what you asked for,
a fifth season to add to your year.
I know you would be fine with that
if I didn't take days from the rest.

So every time I say I see this weather
you swear it's just one storm,
but I can tell by your change of heart
that it's me you're changing for.

I wish it wasn't so easy to
show you that you're wrong.

I'm sorry I'm not what you asked for,
I'm sorry I turned you thunder,
I'm sorry I turned you cold,
I'm sorry I gave you a new season,
I'm sorry I swallowed you whole.

This is What Happens When Sweetness Fades.

Beauty never sees beauty,
inner, outer, or otherwise.

It only sees
charm, wit, and seduction.

After all, what is sweeter
than the taste of sugar?

Not the beauty
of a bitter temptress,
however captivated
the tempted may be-

He'll only fall victim
to the optical beauty
which will try to force him
to an early grave,

and she'll take
all his charm away
stowing it for herself
till she can move on
and find another
so called ugly soul to steal.

It's Yours, Use It.

We weren't meant to dwell
in sadness or misery
but pain is unique
and meant to be felt
because it shapes us.

Don't ever dull that,
it's meant to give you edge.

The sharper that edge
the stronger you are,
the more capable you become
of cutting through
the dwelling in the future.

These Colors Only Paint a Picture.

My heart is red;
like a sunrise on a stormy day,
grey when the clouds roll in,
silver when lightening
strikes the earth,
and loud like thunder.

My heart is blue;
like a sunset after a rainy day
and all the colors a heart can hide,
will never describe
the feel of piercing rain
turning my pale skin pink,
or the wind blown
ache in my ear.

These colors don't tell
you that the wind blew
to the tune, cool and white
as if God purposely pushed
the air for my enjoyment,
and sent a chill through my body
to remind me He's still around.

I Don't Need a Reason.

When you ask me,
"Why do I care?"

I should only
question you the same
instead of dignifying
a significant response.

As if any other response
I would give otherwise
would only catch your brain
in a net anyways.

So if I question you the same
I think you'd find
your answers are to blame.