I Have the Unusual Spring SAD

Spring has come with howling winds
and enough rain to fill my basement twice,
but there are still sunny days.

Even with the lifeless-leafless trees,
the crows still come to nest
on the bare branches the frost left behind.

In the center of my yard,
he sits starring straight up at the sky
as if he's never before seen a sunny sky.

Although I can't explain why,
its light is oddly wounding to me.

Is it the guilt of past spring seasons
that have come creeping upon me?

Does its disgrace pull me back
to an old emotional state?

I wish I could enjoy this season
as much as the rest,
but for now I'm stuck with lifeless trees
and enough rain to fill my basement twice.

This Doesn't Even Scratch the Surface

It's relentless and unforgiving,

it steals your conscious mind

and leaves your life at risk.

There the demons left me;

in a living nightmare,

hearing voices,

talking to the air,

walking round and round

up and down

the darkest halls of my life

and not going anywhere at all.

I suppose I was searching for the will to live.

The chance to finally win the fight

to prove I could defeat the unreal influence

that had come over me and somehow shake

the frightening feelings of ending it all.

I'll always fight them, that's just who I am.

I'll never let the destruction win

but if it ever takes me over again;

I pray to God to have the strength

to recall who I am,

and if my memory

doesn't seem to serve me,
know I went down giving all I had.

Know that I only left this life behind

because the choice wasn't mine to make,

the decision was made

by the relentless and unforgiving  
actions of an unfair mind.

To Move On

A deep breath,
a moment of silence,
and a sigh of relief.

Sometimes that's all I need.

Superficial Impressions

The concern comes over me,

needles me in my good nature,

leaving behind the framework

for the frivolous to rip apart

with the fury of a savage.

I am not a contestant

of your flawed perception.

I never asked for the verdict

you projected on me.

Why do I worry about your image of me,

when I couldn't possibly see inside your mind

to get a glimpse of it anyway?

Thoughts are what they are,

opinions without a voice

and some should stay unspoken.