Thursday, January 29, 2015

The Never Ending Battle of the Mind

There are no words
to describe that shred of desperation
that runs through me,
somewhere between potential futures
and former fiascoes
I try my best to make myself work
but I define myself defunct
and fail to feel any fortitude for myself.

For others it's hard to define
how I could have difficulty
believing in myself
but it's a battle of the mind,
something VERY easy to hide,
how I slip in to deep dark
corners and crevices
of what I could be
and what I feel like I'll never
be able to achieve.

You could say
it's a purgatory for the mind,
possibly a place
where I won't be left behind
but still stand far
from where I want to be
and the question I always ask myself is,
did I put myself here?

I don't want to leave myself blind
because I can't seem to see
past this ugly place in my mind,

where moving on becomes
something less than a step at a time,
and where motivation loses its meaning.

No, I want to be strong, desperately brave,
and capable of anything I want to achieve.

The challenge will always rest
in getting my brain to agree with this idea
but it's something I eventually hope to accomplish.