There are no words
to describe that shred of desperation
that runs through me,
somewhere between potential futures
and former fiascoes
I try my best to make myself work
but I define myself defunct
and fail to feel any fortitude for myself.
For others it's hard to define
how I could have difficulty
believing in myself
but it's a battle of the mind,
something VERY easy to hide,
how I slip in to deep dark
corners and crevices
of what I could be
and what I feel like I'll never
be able to achieve.
You could say
it's a purgatory for the mind,
possibly a place
where I won't be left behind
but still stand far
from where I want to be
and the question I always ask myself is,
did I put myself here?
I don't want to leave myself blind
because I can't seem to see
past this ugly place in my mind,
where moving on becomes
something less than a step at a time,
and where motivation loses its meaning.
No, I want to be strong, desperately brave,
and capable of anything I want to achieve.
The challenge will always rest
in getting my brain to agree with this idea
but it's something I eventually hope to accomplish.