When You Try Again

Welcome back into the world of reality.

The place your dreams are exclusive to sleep –
a quick addiction you must repeat.

So hit the snooze on life every morning
until they’ve been achieved.

It's the luck you stumble on
 to meet your goal –
born into the right family,
tumbling into wealth.

Although being smart
helps your draw…

Having the people in your life
to effectively communicate
that type of intelligence to you –

isn't at all your choice.

It limits the road of occupation
to a narrow, no turning lane.

Guidance is important –

number one
ahead of education
ever meeting you.

Can we quit falling over how life could have been
if better choices could be in our past?

Can we say the clean slate stopped mattering?

Break the chalkboard
and everything it ever stood for?

It’s like we write our ideas in the air
and they blow away
if a gust of wind comes to play.

I don’t want anything in life to be
as simple as the use of an eraser.
Pretending nothing happened,
it's memory – lost.

Carve in stone, make a concrete,
walk away if it doesn't work out.

Don't forget to revisit to know
what went wrong
and what not to do.

Sound familiar?

Pull time like silly putty,
slow to make it stretch
as long as possible.

From one hand to another.
Grab a friend to extend
it longer if you can.

When the line runs thin,
before it breaks,
ball it up,
do it again.

Hold it close to your chest,
give it a quick tug,
and break it in half.

Share it with others,
buy more if you will.

Listen Up

"So long!" I say, as you turn
and rear your head to others.

As if, in some way, I'm malicious.

It's a judgment I'm willing to take,
as long as the floor's planted
beneath my feet. As long as the grass grows
below the sun. As long as I'm alive
to feel the same sun switch over to the moon.

I don't bend to fit your will.
I say what I mean, I mean what I say.
You can't twist my words to actions,
that I, by no means, ever agreed to enact.

That's the act of the snake.
He left you repressed,
waiting, sly, and strikes
with a venom you least expect.

Especially if the venom
never fell from my mouth:
Don't assume.
Don't spread the word.

Anytime I offer help,
take what help I offer.
Don't offer anyone the work they
are unwilling and unable to do.

That will leave you with
a junky job done,
by anyone.

An incomplete picture of
what the world should be.
Don't tear your view of the canvas
if you know the paint hasn't even
had the chance to speak.

I suggest you don't
squander what you're given.
Be grateful for what you've got.

Open your mind,
and open your eyes.
In an instant, you'll find
the helping hand you need.

To Leave the Ego Aside

Disparity is relentless,
the short end of the stick.
The wood shovel handle
that has you digging
your own grave.

It doesn't need
to be this way.

You can let go of your spade,
leave it fall to the ground,
pull yourself out of the hole
fore it's too deep to climb out.

Take a breath,
look within your sight.

Think- past ambitions,
have you reached them?
Do you need a break?

Don't let someone convince you
you aren't cut for this.

Do you need time?

Activate

Be careful because
you can't be safe.
You might just get sucked dry
by what the press makes you say.

Stop saying it,
speak your mind.
You're not alive to swallow
someone elses ideas,
and regurgitate them
back into the earth.

Form your own opinion.

Stay yourself, be yourself,
because society may
try to program you
into being somebody else.

Think for yourself,
don't change for
anyone but yourself.
Walk on eggshells,
squash every bit
of shell you can,
because you've got ideas too.

Ideas that deserve to be heard,
and actions that should be carried out.

Don't let them sit on a shelf
in your mind like a trophy in a case,
take them out and use them.

Reality Left Me

You reach for attention-
all you hear,
the ringing
in your ears.

Your throat is dry-
face is warm,
skin so cracked

that if you smile you split a lip.
You smile despite the blood
dripping to your chin

Undoubtedly hopeless
you extend your arm,
offering the earth
your dirty hand.

Your face,
pushed in the mud.
Silt caked in the cracks.

You bled something
I can't imagine,
healing among all of that.

I'll Never Have

You’re flesh and water and bone.

Destined to dust-
back to the start.

Despite adorning your face
with powder and paint,
dressing your body
in the softest silks
and coolest cottons.

You can drape gold
'round your wrists,
ankles, and neck.

Put the finest diamonds
in your ears.

Your beauty can’t compare. . .

You can never be the fog
drifting on the mountain top.

You will never be a bed of rocks,
in a river,
supporting a swimming koi.

I want to be the color in THAT sky.

The kind so astonishing,
it makes you blind
to everything else.

I want a lot of things.

Forget Me

I want

to be

alone.

I want

to speak

to the world

I can't

have both.

There’s no way

to reach

you

     or me.

How to Ease the Anxiety

Ask yourself,
can you ever find a way?

Seems like the most hopeless
endeavor ever pursued.

So I go back;
 re-read the importance
I've written in my past,
realize this has been,
one of my worst struggles
for so many years.

I've lost my will to fight it.
I've grown weary and given up.
I've lost the energy to swim upstream.

It's time to come up for air,
to rest, to breathe,
and to try to exist.

I've got nothing left to offer,
you've taken it all away.

Will you ever let me breathe
free from your scrutiny?

Keep Living

My mind- empty

   full of fog,

   crickets chirping,

   loud locusts jumping,

   cicadas screaming.

Hit the breaks,

my heart skips a beat.

My shoulder- restraint.

Three of us

stand cold today.

You, me, Anxiety,

and in this moment her voice

 has me deaf.

My head- lost,

   in the atmosphere, blind,

   moving on through the dense fog,

   I kneel to the ground,

   hold my face in my hands.

I'm taking a break,

     taking a breath.

The second this is over,

I'll keep walking

stay ready to scream,

   keep strong,

stay loud.