About Me

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I'm an open book here, and I have a lot to say, so I'll just say it.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Let Go of My Arm

You were possessive, aggressive, obsessive,
and I was so clearly sixteen,
apprehensive, perceptive, susceptive.

I'll demonize you if I want to,
you went in for the hug
I never wanted. . .

I pull as far away as possible
because they warned me about you.


Yet you don't take the hint
and grab me anyway
pulling me into an
incredibly uncomfortable embrace.


So, as I walked away so clearly upset
you take my arm as if it's yours
and so quickly try to clear the air.

You're not making yourself look good to me,
or anyone else around us,
so please stop trying,
and leave me alone.









Wednesday, September 28, 2016

I’ve Been there Before


No matter how loud you speak
some will never listen
and usually they're the ones closest to you.

Too busy listening to the one
with the anus made of gold,
but it doesn't matter what it's made of
it's not pretty no matter how you dress it up.

Sometimes you need to look outside yourself
and just be okay with living in the shadow,
pride is a powerful thing
but don't let it lead you to the same level
that led you in the shadow in the first place.

Your character is worth more
than you give it credit for
despite the indignant, sad, sullen, soul.

Be careful because your bitterness
just might bite you in the end.

Remember the shadow isn't a bad place to be,
it's relatable,
it's a place so many have seen.




Yes, it Actually Happened

When I was alone,
I heard you speak to me
in every song the hospital radio played.

I've done the best I can,
I won't be here tomorrow,
sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

It wasn't ours,
it was a goodbye
to a set of circumstances
that grew old.

I honestly thought my life was over,
just a whisper in my ear,
all I could remember was trying to take my life.

I didn't even realize I was still alive,
so imagine not knowing your spirit still thrives
in your, living, breathing body.

I mourned myself,
became someone else,
first afraid, then bitter,
and every kind of person imaginable
but eventually stronger.

I wanted to go, needed to go
sick of swimming against the current;
letting my delusions drown me with fear,
anxiety, depression,
the feeling of being trapped in myself,
the surreal version of the world I saw,
and still see sometimes today.

Let's bring back some bad memories
of actions with no explanations,
was I just dreaming?

I couldn't sleep,
I could never sleep. 

So, how could that be?










Friday, September 23, 2016

No Matter How Deep You Dig

Grandma removed her face
last night before she went to bed.

It may have been a dream,
but she took it off as naturally
as she would her dentures
or hearing aids.

What was beneath the skin?

Nothing frightening,
but something I found
somewhat beautiful instead.

I found myself asking her
to take it off in an attempt
to better know what was underneath.

Raw and vulnerable to the elements,
with the ability to become dry and cracked.

Everything under that mask of skin
had become too familiar
with the seasons of this world
and the people in it.

The lesson learned;
at some point it's too late to

get to know a person.







Thursday, September 22, 2016

Smaller than my Own Pinky

When I was still a single digit,
one summer my father found
a baby bird fallen
out of an evergreen.

My failed attempt to rescue
the tiny bird,
smaller than my pinky
is still an emotional upset
I do my best to make up for

with every life I save;

a dog at one end of my couch,
a mischief at the other,
a rabbit down the hall
beyond the kitchen
at the end of the stairway
where my basement belongs.

All at one point,
smaller than my pinky
but each a life worth saving, 
because even I once was.



Transience

You pour your soul
into a world that someday
won't remember you.

You come
sing your song
and dance
your job is done.

Live your life to disappear
but enjoy it while you're here.

Take a deep breath
and some day
let your life go in a
dizzying sigh.






Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Something Like a Sonata

Listening to the crackling dust on a record
has me wishing I could have composed
a waterfall of keys that tap the strings
aggressively,
sadly,
sometimes even peacefully.




Thursday, September 15, 2016

It's Okay

Dreams are the matter
we are made of

when our existence
feels like an illusion. . .

Sometimes we seem
to tell ourselves;

it's all just a bad dream,
it'll all be over soon.

I wonder sometimes
if I'll ever wake up
when there's nothing to touch
to make us feel the same
as we did before we broke.

The good news is
we've never been broken for good
and if we have to be
at least we're stranded on
shattered island together. . .

Right?





Friday, September 9, 2016

Another Set of Shoes

I've been given a debatable mind,
really,
sometimes it's debatable
as to whether or not it's even a mind at all,
but it thinks,
it even speaks for itself.

Either way,
it's all about perspective,
a sense of persuasion.

Even in a messy mind like mine,
the ability to see,
yourself,
be seen,
and see through others
in a way that maybe you've never seen
may keep you from getting hung up
on that one line you couldn't stand to see,
but instead see the story for its entirety.

Let the story live and die like us
and try fighting for the other side
once in a while with the intention

of sliding inside someone else's mind.