About Me

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I'm an open book here, and I have a lot to say, so I'll just say it.

Monday, April 27, 2015

Somehow We Work

There you were just a few years
before the worst point in my life,
when I was living in a state
of what I thought was the worst.

Neither of us expected what came next,
but you were still around when it was over.

I could never number the countless
so called friends I lost
over such a state of confusion.

I'll leave them numberless,
because they don't even
deserve that satisfaction.

They are less in my mind,

because,

how hard is it to simply
be there for someone?

It's as simple as being at the other end
of the conversation,
the only thing you need to do
is sit and listen.

But YOU. . .

You must be the best friend in the world
because you've been around listening
to my nonsense for over a decade
and you've never once
thought less of me for it.

You led me to learning who's best left behind,
and taught me that I'm not obligated
to anyone who treats me horribly.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Where Your First Loss Leads You

Living in my head are the memories
of a blue eyed girl in a blue house.

These memories that grow
further and further from who I am
still carry on the first loss
of the best friend I ever had.

Almost twenty years have passed,
and I'm still not sure
that I've ever experienced
grief as deeply as I did that day.

Anytime I think of it,
it eats away at me
because the experience to follow,

while it was also
a blue eyed girl
in a blue house

was a devastating blow.

The memory of that failed friendship,
it's the biggest disappointment
that has me running
further and further from who I use to be

and growing more and more
into who I am today,

because you never forget.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Love is so Much Better

I dreamt you asleep
in a pitch black room
lit only by the colors
of an old 9inch tube TV.

That's the reality I grew up in

but you're so much less bleak
than the view I had in mind.

Yet for some sad reason,
my mind can't escape
the perspective it created.

You're so much more
than a ripped up mattress
laying on the floor,

or some crushed ashes in a tin can.

There's no smoke rising in this house,
no red flame that makes
it so hard to breathe.

You make life a place
to live lightheartedly.