Friday, May 24, 2013

This is Why I Make Decisions Carefully.

I'm not a social person,
I'm self inhibited.

I coil inwards
and control my thoughts,
my actions,
the only way I can.

I prefer to have a desolate womb,
does that make me selfish?

I don't allow myself
to make stupid decisions.

I plan my life
around the potential ones,
and not theirs around mine.

Those lives are delicate
and I dare not
dance around them.

I'd rather keep them safe instead,
releasing them when we're both ready.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

The Lack of Understanding Life.

please fall into my direction.

Show me the meaning
behind everything I once had.

Because I don't have anyone
and all who once mattered,
and all the things that
don't seem to matter anymore,

show me something's got to change.

I just have to pray that something
somehow falls into my direction.

I was
too young to understand,
too busy growing up
to understand affinity.

I remember being young,
so little girls like me
didn't understand
when we were told
we were too young.

We were too busy growing up
to understand the meaning,
and as an adult
our old decisions shaped
ourselves, shaped our lives today.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Want isn't a Strong Enough Word for the Desire to be Heard.

There's no sense
in starving for success,
still, I take the risk everyday.

I push the hunger aside
despite the uncertainty
in my mind
and stash my doubt
somewhere far behind.

So the longer
I wait for an outcome,
the less I see,

and I'm left here
writing the words
that no one
ever seems to see.

It takes drive
to be in my position,
and still set the statistics
so far away from my mind.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Even When it All Goes Wrong, He'll Still be There

We all just want to be married.

We all just want that one,

but what does that one matter
if you can't get a grip?

Marriage is more
than a picture
or a plaque
that you hang on your wall.

It's more than a spoken vow
or a ring exchange,
more than a simple ceremony.

Marriage is delicate,
and simultaneously strong.

It's something unspoken,
shared in secret
and seen clearly.